Sterotype Single Mom

This will probably cause uproar but here goes…….

To those that gossip about the mom you never see at the playground, she’s at work, working her arse off to be able to pay the bills and provide for her child because that is her only income.

To the boss that disciplines his employee for leaving early one afternoon, that’s because she’s having to take her child to the doctors as she’s the only person her child has.


To the shop assistant that judges a young woman buying a microwave meal for two whilst reasoning with their child down the chocolate isle, have you maybe thoughtshe’s exhausted from being up 6am and only having 4 hours sleep so she can’t be arsed to cook a fresh meal from scratch?!

To the group of ‘stay at home yummy mummys’ who live nearby whilst you bitch and spread rumours that woman is actually providing a true example of what hard work is to her child whilst providing a stable and secure future all by herself.

And finally to the ‘married middle aged couples’ that discuss the negatives of teenage pregnancy and tar every teenage parent into the same fucked up sterotype just remember not everyone is the same.

Let me enlighten you that actually she’s a kick arse mom. She brings her child up single handily every night and everyday with hardly ever a beak she’s living off less than 5 hours sleep a night and works nearly 40 hours a week.

You still want to mock, bitch and stereotype?

Be my guest, but I suggest before you do so you step into her shoes. Stop being a bitch and support her, compliment her, help her, learn from her!


5 Years

The Photograph on the Left.

A 16 year old girl. Behind that forced pathetic excuse of a smile was an huge amount of pain and suffering that was never known by the outside world. To look at her you would think she was carefree, wild, rebellious, rude, arrogant, nasty, selfish and just a bloody nightmare. That couldn’t be more further from the truth. She never felt good enough to anyone. She never felt like she was accepted in society, she always felt like an outsider and a failure. Throughout the years she had been labelled and her future had been decided by people she didn’t even know.

Behind the rebellious behaviour, the sarcasm, bad language and carefree attitude she was living a nightmare. Something that nobody should ever have to live through.

Her mind, thoughts, options and feelings were controlled 24/7. Her body was abused, her home was destroyed and her life felt as though it was not worth living.

Everyday was a battle not just behind closed doors but facing the outside world, who judged, mocked and categorised her. No one had any idea what was going on in her life they were quick to speculate and make their own judgments.

Three months after that picture was taken she found the strength god knows how but she found it and she walked away. She left her home, she left someone whom she was lead to believe was the only person that cared and loved her, she found her voice and she spoke up and spoke out.

The photograph on the right.

The woman who is now 21. She has had a baby, she works full time, she lives in her own home.

The woman who has spent 5 years battling judgement, criticism, stereotypes and the world. She has taken every bad experience in her stride and has created a world full of love, joy, safety and happiness.

She is no longer scared, she’s not longer classed as, rude, rebellious, nasty, selfish and a bloody nightmare.

Honestly? She never was any of those things.

She is fragile, she is sensitive, she is reserved, she is opinionated, she’s honest and she’s loyal.

Both those women are me.

5 years apart. A different life and a different world.

0808 2000 247

Open Goodbye Letter

Dear, The Person I Used To Know

I’m writing this with a heavy heart, sadness and disappointment. It would have been 10 years of friendship next September. 10 years! 10 years since we met. 10 years since we wore the same school uniform, 10 years since we used to sneak out of school for a cigarette or just for fun! A lot has happened and changed in 10 years. We’ve been in and out of love, we’ve battled our demons, we’ve had horrendous illnesses, we have created memories that will forever been remembered but we’ve lost each other along the way.

Some would say it’s two sided but we both know the truth we both know that you allowed your circumstances to rule your world. We both know the amount of times I bailed you out, I sat up most the night listening to your problems, I was there for you at the drop of a hat and all the times I fort your corner when everyone else was against you.

I have tried and tried tirelessly for the last 12months to rekindled the friendship we once had but there’s only so many times someone can keep offering their hand out without it being taken.

I completely understand and relate to big important changes happening in your life but the one lesson I have learnt throughout the last 4/5 years is never forget your friends. Never forget the ones that are always there but also don’t push them away because eventually they won’t come back.

I have to let go now for my own sake and when times get hard and you feel the world is crashing down around you, this time I won’t be there to pick you up. I won’t be there to wipe your tears away and I won’t be there to fight your corner.


Because where were you when I was on the verge of a breakdown? Where were you when things were at it’s worst? Where were you when my daughter needed you?

I hope your happy, I pray your okay, I wish you all the happiness and love the world will now offer you now.

Take Care

God Bless x

Grow Old Graciously

Over the last few years becoming a single parent and working class woman there has always been one issue I seem to have never understood or been able to sympathise with.

I’m sure most working class women and men can totally relate and understand where I am coming from with this particular issue, which is of course men and women (especially) who behave in such a horrendous, embarrassing and unacceptable manner which could be actually classed as ‘bullying’ in the workplace. Yes I’ve said it, ‘BULLYING’. What ceases to amaze me is that these individuals are usually from the age range of 40-60!

Now I can understand certain contributing factors that could be used as excuses. For example: the menopause, the fear of growing old and breaking out in wrinkles and grey hair, children leaving home, marriage problems and maybe illness. But seriously is that an excuse? If we were on the subject of young people/ children bullying others the excuses aren’t usually taken into account and those that are responsible for bad behaviour are named and shamed. So why is it more acceptable for the elder members of society to behave in such a manner?

I can guarantee you in every work place across the world you have a scenario exactly like this one…..

‘ The women in the office that is classed as a “manager” whom very rarely smiles, thinks she is something she isn’t, constantly out to be awkward, thinks everyone else is below her, always has a problem with someone and always has to centre of attention. Everyone in the workplace can’t stand the sight of her, everyone shudders when they hear her name or rolls their eyes, when she isn’t around everyone is relaxed and ready to throw a party thinking she’s gone for good when in actual fact she’s on ‘annual leave. (Damn it)’

Surely this behaviour isn’t okay. Surely it’s degrading, intimidating and uncomfortable which for most companies is unacceptable? But the biggest problem is so many people are too scared to say anything because of the ‘title’ they hold and the fact that this person has ‘worked hard to be where they are today’ and then there’s the whole ‘it’s just their personality.’ what a load of BULLSHIT. Speak out, say something if someone makes you feel shit that is not acceptable it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do or their ‘title’ it’s wrong. No one ever has the right to make another human being feel unworthy, uncomfortable or unhappy especially in their place of work! Here’s my guide to dealing with the sad, lonely, spiteful, unkind and embarrassing individuals of the world:

  • Always smile and be polite
  • Always be courteous
  • Always be respectful even though that person never shows you respect
  • Remember everyone is equal regardless of the title they hold
  • Keep a log of anything you are not happy with, this builds a log and paper trail to back yourself up if needs be.
  • Try and never be alone with that person or always have a witness.
  • Feel extremely sorry for that person as they obviously have a very sad and lonely life
  • Always stay true to yourself
  • Don’t suffer alone, speak out.

And to the individual that is reading this who is guilty of treating anyone in a unkind, unprofessional and horrible manner you should be ashamed of yourself , I pity you and feel sorry for you.

Just grow old graciously and gracefully

God Bless Rhi x

Childhood PTSD

I haven’t spoken publicly about this particular subject until now but I think it’s so important to educate people.

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER IN EARLY CHILDHOOD. This is REAL. My beautiful baby girl was diagnosed in 2015 after a turbulent start with certain events that occurred and were unstoppable. As a mother your worst nightmare is to see your child suffer and being unable to do anything to take the pain away. Unfortunately certain events I was unable to stop or have any control over whatsoever. It kills me knowing what happened was completely out of my hands, I tried everything but sometimes it isn’t enough and when certain services are stretched beyond their means some things just have to continue before change happens.

Children that are diagnosed with PTSD aren’t weird, rude, strange, immature or naughty. They are normal children who at times suffer with certain aspects of life. From witnessing these things first hand I can tell you what behaviours some may display:

  1. Difficulty Sleeping /Nightmares
  2. Reduced Attention Span – this may sometimes seem they aren’t listening but in fact they may be having flashbacks or just in their own ‘day dream’
  3. Loss of Trust (Orlas case men)
  4. Scared of loud noises particularly the door being knocked / motorbikes/FIREWORKS
  5. Anxiety
  6. Very clingy
  7. Dislikes large amounts of people at one time
  8. Nervous
  9. Stressed out easily

All these behaviours can be perceived in a completely different light when in fact they are just a coping mechanism for that childIf you believe your child may have some of these symptoms due to suffering or witnessing trauma please seek advice and help. There are many agencies that are available. I would advice contacting your health visitor, doctor but also agencies such as women’s aid. There is no cure for PTSD but what there is available is support, attention, recognition, advice, love, patience and guidance.For those that may come across a child that shows signs of PTSD PLEASE DONT JUDGE OR MOCK. It isn’t funny and it isn’t a reflection on the parents you have no idea what may have happened so who are you to judge? God Bless Rhi x

Dear Birmingham

Dear Birmingham the city that holds my heart. The city that saved my life, taught me the realities of the world, educated me, gave me hope, joy, faith and love. The city where you can be whoever you want to be, where dreams become a reality. I have always loved you, you have always been my home. Coming back after so long was emotional, so much has changed. I feel your becoming more and more like London wether that is a good thing or not well that’s debatable. You’ve changed so much your quite unrecognisable. A few times I had to stop in my tracks, I was confused and lost my bearings. By then I knew I had left it too long to come home. The biggest change which has completely broken my heart is the huge increase of visible homeless people. This was and has always been a problem but oh my how it’s become bigger than ever before. How have we let this happen? How can we ignore this? Men, Women, Boys and Girls sleeping rough on our streets with nothing. What completely baffles me is how people can just walk by without even acknowledging them never mind how we’ve allowed this to happen. Birmingham what are you doing about this? Such a beautiful amazing city and you can’t even help the most vulnerable. I have always brought my 4 year old daughter up to have compassion, kindness and love for others especially those whom most need it. She has overwhelmed me with her kindness and love this week by asking to gift chocolate kinder eggs to rough sleepers. Why kinder eggs? That’s her favourite. The look on the faces of these people she has given these Kinder Eggs to is just beautiful. The shock that a 4 year old little Girl has so much love in her heart to be so selfless and giving without prompt more than most grown men and women can is just truly amazing. If I can show and educate my daughter on how to be giving and compassionate without spending a lot of money or giving more than we possibly can how can as a society we can’t be united and practice this everyday?! Birmingham we need to be supporting these people we need to be showing these people love and compassion we need to be helping and supporting these people. If you can spend thousands of pounds on new buildings, businesses and gifting money abroad why aren’t you helping those sleeping on your streets?!

Birmingham you will always have my heart, you looked after me at my weakest and lowest please be kind enough to do that for others.

God Bless Rhi x

Future Generation


To the children of our future, last nights events was horrendous, scary, in humane and disgraceful. I am so sorry. I am sorry that the world you will grow up in now won’t be like it was for your parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles. I remember playing out till dinner time, being able to walk to the local shop with friends to buy a 5p Freddo. I remember looking at this world with such innocence and never really seeing anything like we see now. I haven’t got the answers as to why there is a group of certain individuals that want to harm innocent and good people. That I don’t think anyone will be able to have the answers for. What I can tell you is good always defeats evil. When terror attacks have hit our beautiful countries we have all stood united. People who have never met have offered shelter, food, drink, lifts, love and support from all over the world. Crazy isn’t it. It’s crazy how the actions of one or minor groups of people can unite a world full of people who are all different, who in normal every day life would never cross paths. Rabbis offering tea to police officers, Muslim taxi drivers offering free lifts, black takeaway delivery drivers gifting pizza to the hard working dedicated NHS staff, men and woman across the country offering their homes as a safe place for victims. Humanity is restored. I can promise you one thing for your future 99.9 % of the people in this country and this world are kind, good, hard working people. Yes it’s sad that it takes a tragic disaster to occur but I can promise you that if anything like what happened last night happens again you will be shown compassion, love , support and kindness from people from all walks of life no matter what. Always remember to show that kindness and love no matter what because you are good people you have good souls. Life for us right now is quite sad, scary and worrying but as a united world we will always defeat those who want to destroy our lives always.

I hope one day just maybe the sad, bitter, cruel and nasty individuals will stop will see that life can be beautiful so beautiful, that being alive is precious, that being a kind human being costs nothing and that being different is good!

Always remeber to be yourself. Never feel that you are alone because you won’t be not now. Never be scared to show your emotions, because the world wants to help, always remeber that there is always someone there to listen, help and support. And be kind and love unconditionally always.

God Bless, Love Rhi x